reality

the 

degree 

to which 

I am 

able  

to grieve 

is 

the 

degree 

to which 

I am 

able  

to live in  

reality 

if 

I wish 

to 

be 

real, 

to 

participate 

in 

reality 

to 

create 

in 

reality 

to 

love 

in 

reality 

to 

advocate 

in 

reality 

to 

heal 

in 

reality 

to 

hope 

in 

reality 

then

I must 

attend 

to my grief 

because

to live 

in reality 

is to suffer it.

after all 

reality 

will never 

fully align 

with what 

I want it 

to be

so to accept 

the truth 

of that 

requires 

me 

to surrender 

my control 

of reality 

and 

to grieve 

my unrealized 

idealistic

hopes 

desires

dreams

but herein 

lies the gift 

of grief:

somehow 

as we 

grieve what is not  

we simultaneously 

discover 

the beauty 

of what is

we awaken 

to the 

possibilities 

of life 

lived in 

the present 

we uncover 

the creative 

potentialities 

of reality as it is 

that our 

wounds create 

the possibility 

of solidarity 

our 

fears create 

a common search 

for life 

our 

loneliness creates 

an opening

for community 

our 

humanity creates 

a receptacle

for love. 

in the end

then: 

my 

fidelity to 

reality 

is determined  

by my 

fidelity to 

my grief

and so 

I must 

learn 

to befriend

it,

to 

courageously 

give 

myself 

wholeheartedly 

to it –

and trust 

that in return 

it will give 

me 

perhaps 

one of 

the

most

important 

gifts of all:

the possibility 

of a 

truly

generative

life.